Brought my car to be put to sleep

on Friday.  How is this related to job search?  Well, it’s related to my lack of money which is related to my lack of job and etc and the like.

I got my car in 1998.  It is (was!) a 1986 Honda Civic Hatchback and a rather ugly tan brown colour.  It was a “Hondamatic” – rather unique in that it had a manual choke but no clutch and gears 1, 2 and OD for speeds over 70 kph.

I drove that car into the ground and back again many times.  I’d broken off part of the tail light at least 12 years ago and never had it replaced.  It was dented, scratched, the paint was coming off, the seats had foam coming out of them and the trunk did not stay open, so many times I held it up with my head as I pulled stuff out.  Sniffle.

In 2003, during and after the time I went to find myself in Europe (a bit older than most finding yourselfers but nonetheless, a great great trip) I left it in my friend’s garage for about a year.

I poured a whole lot of money into this vehicle – had the transmission rebuilt at one point and various and sundry that comes with having an old car.  The last several years whenever I was on the highway it shook and felt really unbalanced.  Nonetheless, I drove it to Bellingham twice this past summer, driving a good 30 km slower than the other cars on the highway.  Not so smart really.  Not so smart.  The second time, it began to stall every time I slowed down.  Luckily, I was able to get back to Canada without further incident.

Everytime something went wrong with my car, I was determined to scrap it.  In BC, if you scrap your car at the approved dealership, you get a choice of incentives – I chose a $750 credit to the car co-op.  But then . . . the car would remarkably come back to life.  I admit it, I could not let it go. I’ll never be able to afford another car, I don’t think, so I was clingy.

But then, I lost my job.  And money got super super tight.  The other day, the windshield wipers stopped working, although I could hear the motor still whirring.  Turns out it would need $200 to get it all going again and that was an estimate.  I phoned around different garages and was told the same thing.  I’m sure someone has a great story abut a much cheaper garage but never mind.  It was just time.  I applied for Scrap it and got approved the very same day.  I waited for a sunny day since, well, the windshield wipers don’t work.

The scrap metal place of course has thousands and thousands and thousands of scrunched up cars.  Gulp.  Gulp.  Gulp.

But I did it and tomorrow I will sign up for the car co-op.  I bought good boots to walk me through the rain and storms and puddles of Vancouver’s winter with the coming insurance money.  I’ll be able to get a whole whack of bus tickets too.

I miss my car but I don’t miss the stress that went with having a car that old.  I imagine by now, it has been squashed down.

Goodbye, little Honda.

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