Still here

12 Jan

Hmmm.  A few days have passed since I last blogged.  Go figure.

Yesterday and tomorrow are the days I’m substitute secretary at my wee church.  It’ s a very relaxed atmosphere to say the least which is an awesome way to spend my time.  Today it was pretty much the minister and me.  I worked on the bulletin, did some filing and eeek!!!!!!!!!!!!  some Excel stuff.  I managed to mightily mess up the Excel stuff which somehow I thought I might.  Nothing unfixable and I’m happy to get the exposure to the program, not that I want to do administrative work full time.  Hmmm, no.  Actually, these days it’s not so easy even getting an admin job – seem you have to know every program and its dog. And it’s not me, not my interest and not my areas of strength.  But I’m loving this substitute secretary at my wee church stuff.  Tomorrow my plan is to make far fewer mistakes in Excel. Live and learn.

Admin. work to me still means pink ghetto and sitting in front of a computer all day.  I admire those who can do it though, although it does seem to be predominantly women still.

Which brings me to ESL (and I don’t actually put this blog on any of my resumes or mention it at interviews. I’m not using it that way).  Yes, they can always track me down of course with their spidey senses I realize.  Big Brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went for an interview yesterday at yet another downtown-ish international school.  The pay and the hours were simply not a liveable wage.  Although they may say 25 hours a week, what they really mean is all day, every day.  No chance to do anything else, no chance to develop anything else.  If you are reading this and haven’t taught ESL, particularly at a for-profit ESL school, you may be thinking that I should be thankful for any job in this economy.  But before and after the interview (during it I was all smiles and happy happy, really.  Hard to believe perhaps but indeed I was) I just felt quite literally sick.  This is not a game I want to get back into right now. It is exhausting and it is all consuming.  I fully realize I may have to again at some point in the near future because savings don’t last forever of course.  But for right now – it just made me feel literally ill and like my soul was being sucked out of my body.  Dramatic?  Certainly.  Always.  Always.  I’ll see what happens if they offer me work.  It’s hard because I feel like I’m not allowed to turn anything down but can’t cope with the school I was at yesterday, at least. And the director was perfectly nice and the teachers looked nice and the students looked nice and the building looked nice and the computers looked nice.  No one was evil. 

“You’ll need to spend your breaks with the students,” the nice academic director said, “But on your (unpaid)lunch hour – that  is your own time – you can even leave the building if you want to.”  Glory be.

Now I know that some folks I used to work with are reading my blog so I hesitate to write about this because it may help them to think ‘wow, I’m glad I’m still at the company because at least it is a job that I know and that isn’t sucking my soul from my body.”  Phew and relief and etc.  And that would bug me because that is not my point.  Karen, you say, stop trying to think that you know what people think.  True that.  True indeed. 

Jeez, insomnia is really rearing its ugly head even more than usual lately.  Yucky, awful, makes me even more emotional.  My (also fairly) emotional friend and I were on the phone earlier tonight and we kinda snapped at each other and I got teary, that kind of thing.

Oh to sleep well for a whole bunch of nights in a row.  I wouldn’t recognize myself.

On a political note, seems Mitt Romney will be the Republican candidate.  What up with that?  Uh well, at least Obama will get another four years.

Oh and I’m going to start a volunteer gig with the Educator Volunteer Network.  I’ll be doing the content for a website for a school in Tanzania.  The EVN works with schools in areas of poverty or war to help raise money, to mentor educators and to write press releases, websites, etc.  I had to prove I could write to even be considered so I’m quite excited about this. It is quite internationally respected and a super opportunity for me.

And finally, I worked on the great edits my editor wanted on my freelance piece and I just now sent her the 5,307 word piece.  A couple of more edits and it will be done.

One Response to “Still here”

  1. Thomas January 12, 2012 at 5:38 pm #

    Still here as well Karen 🙂 I check back to your blog at least three times a day waiting for that new post. Nice to see a new one today.

    Still absolutely nothing for me. No phone calls, no emails back, no interviews on the horizon. It really gets to be depressing and has me thinking, like you, about the old career a bit. Should I go back to what I know even though I really don’t want to go there?

    I have been fiddeling around with my resume , trying to jazz it up somewhat but really find it difficult. What sort of things have you added or highlighted on your resume?

    Cold but at least the sun is shining, almost time for a nice brisk walk. Enjoy your day at your wee Church.


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