art therapy

18 Apr

I started getting art therapy.  A few years ago I would have found that maybe kinda too woo woo.

Now I love it.

Why.

Because I sit there and colour or paint or play with clay and I talk to the art therapist and we talk about healing and compassion toward myself in ways I had never thought of or been open to before.  Turns out my description of Centering Prayer and the mysticism of Christ reminds her of her own path through Tibetan Buddhism.

At Centering Prayer last week, we talked about the Welcoming Prayer.  As in welcome all the pain and the thoughts and the horror and don’t run from it because where does that get you and indeed, where has that ever gotten me.  And then after welcoming and welcoming and welcoming, you (one, me, everyone) invite the Divine in as well.  I find this so profound and potentially healing that it makes me weep.

There’s a song ‘Bring Em All In” by Mike Scott (much covered) that resonates with this for me.  I especially like the Wailin Jennys cover of it. 

Amidst all of it the last several months, there have been placed in my path a few folks that have just bled out compassion on to me and for that grateful, grateful.  Endlessly.  It brings me closer to an ability to stand on my own.  Not yet not yet but yes, in that direction.

Grace really.

It’s not easy is it, this life, eh (a little Canadian-ism there).  Days I spend so much time alone that my brain turns on itself.  And then from somewhere, compassion.  Uh yes.

I squish down my creativity when I fear all that dark, I think.  But it never seems to lose hope, seeping out of my pores in one way or another.

The goal, the long shot.

Compassion for myself.  So that even in the dearth of others, I can see beyond the patterns my brain has built in its attempt to keep me upright.

Just thinking out loud here.  Trying not to self-critique myself out of existence or into anxiety which is where I think the creativity goes when I try to discount it.

 

 

 

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