This blog will not be mentioning any Jenner people. How unique.
Middle of summer and so little work. Crazy.
This morning I had to get up before the ducks to go and get paid 1.5 hours to invigilate a mock FCE. I was allowed to read or I think even sleep during this event, as it was only a mock one.
“I can mock,” I noted to boss D.
Then I was up right. No going back to sleep and the day stretching before me until one p.m. when I had an S.T. appointment – my first in her private office. Hallelujah. The office is downtown as opposed to at VGH. Both closer and farther in a way. Turns out is right beside an ESL school. Must have been break time as eight zillion Saudi young men were smoking. There was a teacher out there so I chatted to him about the dire state of the industry. This school is one of the three not gross downtown schools (one is not hiring, one I am at randomly, and the one next door to S.T. ignores my resumes repeatedly). The guy was startled I was talking to him because nobody talks to anybody in Vancouver really.
“Most Saudis are going home for Ramadan,” I say. Tis true – daylight hours are much shorter there so, you know, less hunger.
“Oh, not ours,” he said.
He’s been a sub for three years.
“They teach subs fairly well here,” he noted.
I take that to mean that the de-humanization process is slightly slower.
My appointment with S.T. was not bad – she has literally 10 degrees hanging up on her office walls. The office is bigger and less hot than the one at VGH. We are on for weekly so that gives me a reason to carry on I suppose.
We are on for the middle of the day on Thursdays – tricky if one works. Hey, lucky! I do not. She said she might be able to let me off for three weeks for my gig at UBC. Otherwise, if I miss, it is $160. Yowza. She makes about twice that per session I think.
Whatever, she is good and I got her after a year and a half of steadily suggesting it.
“You are good at getting what you want,” she said.
“That must be why I am so happy.” I said.
I cycled downtown and back and had time in between the invigilating and the thingy to go to North Van library on the bus and get some books – two I’m excited about, the rest, meh.
I have also now cycled to Langara for the evening class.
Without structure and people, I am edgy ( ier), tedious(er) and more depressed.
“What’s the point.” I enquired on FB, where all good depressed questions go.
A few people responded with loving others and being loved and helping humanity.
Marianne Faithfull sings that she has so much love left to give. Yes, Marianne, I agree. I’ve got all of this love and nowhere to put it.
Self-pity and depression can be hard to distinguish.
My pals, my people? They are busy building their lives and working and such and such. I hang around the edges of it all.
Anyway, the days are now going to be sunny and Kitsilano Pool is going to be free for me.
I need to get out of this town for a week, an hour, a few days – something something recharging.
Okay, gotta wrangle my bicycle to the classroom and get my brain back into people mode.