24 Jun


That is some Kitsilano pool water there. A.T. suggested I take a picture of water since I love, well, water. What I am really trying to do is to learn how to paint or colour so water looks like water.  I like this photo taken with my cell phone quickly so that no people got in there.  The lights, the different kinds of blue, that kind of thing.

It is cloudy today but muggy.  Rumour is that on the weekend it will be up to 30C.  My my, that water will be packed.

I am sooooooooo not working at all.  Just the two nights a week at Langara which ends next week.  The next courses, should they run, don’t start until the beginning of October.  I do have three weeks in August at UBC but that is it.  Done, it.

I’m applying for different kinds of jobs and of course, hearing nothing.  This is a problem.

The never ending problem.

I got a small to medium (depending on one’s perspective) sized financial windfall two weeks ago and that has been helpful in relieving the financial stress a bit.  Unfortunately, there is a large chance that the government will want a chunk of it back, due to some unfortunate this and that.  But for now it is there.  The windfall seems to have resulted in my bank calling and asking do I want to come in for wealth management.  I think the bank thinks that this one off fall will keep falling.

I have no wealth, I mentioned.

Come in and see Justin.

All righty, I will then.

Justin or Jordan I don’t remember.

Justin will ask how much my income is.

Well, Justin, it’s like this.

I did take the windfall and remove it from the Justin bank into the virtual Canadian Tire Bank.  No fees and slightly better interest.  Some say an RRSP, I say I need the money to live off of.  Never end a sentence with a preposition.

I had a student interested in tutoring but he has disappeared as all tutoring students like to do.  I wonder if they are all in one place or some such.

The sound of a dentist’s drill x 10,000 is going on across the street.  R. is having I guess some work done on her garden.  Might ask if they can work on my teeth.

Speaking of teeth, I bit the bullet (well actually the flouride trays) and got a cleaning after 2 years of not.  Financial windfall and I am responsible.  No new cavities and a possible solution to my two chipped front teeth but $600 and no guarantee the stuff put on won’t chip off.  Chew apples on the side of your mouth, suggested the in a hurry dentist.  The hygienist, a super compassionate woman, was annoyed that he just wouldn’t sit down and tell me the deal.  I do have massive and rapid recession of one lower front tooth due apparently to chipping up upper front teeth.  Still, it was nice to get it all scaled and cleaned and flouride – d, x-rayed.  Less than $200 too so that is good.

Emotionally I was doing a bit better this week (only Wednesday I realize).  Saw A.T., went to writing group, swam and soaked up the sun yesterday, bobbed, rode my bicycle to and from the evening job at Langara.  I discovered a new bike route home – down 45th to Cypress.  I wouldn’t do it on the way there as it is way too uphilly in that direction.  But  back was nice – through the beautiful manicured homes of the rich.

I realize I keep putting off the major career change.  Mainly, because, well, what the heck am I going to do.  Magical thinking or some such.  But I have worked not a day in over two weeks and before that it was just for a few hours.  I am absurdly excited that on July 20th I have three hours of subbing, in the bowels of North Vancouver in the evening.

I must stay healthy for the three week gig at UBC.  Or go in sick or something.

I seem to be telling myself that after the UBC gig I will start ‘getting serious’ about a job.  Um, yeah.

My appointments with S.T. are Thursdays at 3 pm and the time is non-negotiable so I am told and even getting that time was remarkable.  That’s tricky.  Not sure how I could tell a new job, well, I can’t work from 230 to 4:15 pm or some such.  Sigh.

Not that there will be a new job.  I am okay with mixing and matching different jobs as is required.  BUT THERE IS NOTHING.

How do I keep my head from exploding.

Oy, it is super muggy I must say.

I might go to the art gallery tomorrow – Italian masters’ paintings and there would be a tour.  The tours are great and it is included in the price.  Then S.T. and then Langara.

Friday is the bank! for the wealth appointment.  In this episode, Justin becomes really disappointed and his face falls when he finds out my financial situation.

Saturday I think I am seeing V.C. who I used to work with.  She now works at Langara during the day so we bump into each other once in a while.  The day bosses won’t even interview me.  Bizarre, blah.  K.P. also works there.  We had been good friends for a long time when we worked at the school that paid $40/hour with benefits and then fell apart, but then we had a nasty and bizarre friend breakup.  I used to make the effort to say hello but now I just can’t be bothered.

Today I am meeting C. at 2:30, prior to an appt I have at VGH.  After that – well, the home group is not meeting in the summer, not that I went regularly when I was working.  Of course I could go now but alas, summer break.  Fair enough, some of those folks work really hard.  There is the ‘intellectual’ United Church Bible study nearer my place tonight (10 minute walk versus an almost hour commute to the home group) and there is always some kind of good dessert on offer.  That study is big on the intellectual part which I love and which challenges me but not on the say bonding and sharing part.  Uh well.  It is all about getting my butt out of the door and around people and interacting.

When the financial windfall appeared in my bank account it was more than I thought it would be and I danced around and paced, uncertain what to do.  Paid a lot toward MSP to keep them off of my back for now, went to the dentist, got a six month People magazine subscription (the treat part of the situation), bought a couple of books and magazines and a pair of runners (from Winners, much cheaper there).  A bit toward a few more visits with A.T. which realistically I have to cut off soon.  The rest – the bulk of it – went right into savings.  It will provide three and a bit months of living which is helpful for sure for sure.

I do have a nice tan I must say.  I never try to tan and can’t tolerate lazing about in the sun.  I guess it is from cycling and swimming and such.  It always looks so healthy but alas, is probably not.

Collaging is fun and relaxing really.

But when I’m sitting here collaging or trying to colour water I’m realizing it is the middle of the damn day and I am alone and don’t have a damn job.

Like that.

I realize I repeat the negative at all times.

I love photographs that were taken in the early 1900s or even the mid twentieth century.  Shows such a different time and I love looking at black and white photos of people from those eras, especially when they are doing something like walking down the street or whatever.

Anyway, guess that is all for now.  I have been overcycling, something I must repeat today it seems.  I like to use my bicycle as transportation whenever I can.  I don’t cycle much in the winter.  But right now, I seem to be in good shape – cycling up and down hills, swimming, etc.  Three months on, nine months off.


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