Plumping up

I am plumping up for the summer or something reverse universe like that.

You reach half a century and the body, it plumps up.

C’est la vie.

I have taken my bicycle out once or twice I have I have but the weather is still too cold for me to be using it as transportation to the temporary morning/afternoon job.  I also lost my beanie cap which is disappointing- it had tried to run away numerous times before but someone always very kindly ran after me with it.  It looked cool I must say and it fit well under my bicycle helmet.  Will go to MEC and get another one just like it I will I will.

I will.

This winter situation feels longer than most – heck it is March and still chilly and the forecast remains rain rain rain and rain.  A little sun and warmth is called for.

I like cycling to the downtown job because a) it keeps me off of the bus which is mega morning crowded b) just 20 minutes c) exercising while accomplishing a commute.  Thus and therefore it is good in all ways.

I get home from the temporarily busy downtown job and I am just shattered I tell you.  Teaching 6 or 7.5 hours a day does that to a person in my opinion.  I’ve been having some extra hours due to holidays of some teachers – when they are all back though, so it ends because the school is all ready as full as it can get so no new classes.  C’est la vie.  March is a busy time for holiday makers it seems so that works out for me.  Make hay while sun is shining and the like.  My two Chinese teenage tutees are off at different times for spring break which results in no completely free weekend but a bit of a weekday evening break which I am grateful for.Going from a day job to an evening job across town is quite the thing.  I do now have an adult Chinese tutee which I may have mentioned before – she is of the downtown school.  I started seeing her last Thursday evening and will continue this week.  She lives downtown in a swanky hotel which I will see for the first time this week.

Okay so the result of my shatteredness is that I haven’t been going to my evening events – writing group, United Church meditation, and etc.  This is not good because my social event quota is not filling up as it needs to.  A tricky balance for sure.

So I have been an ESL teacher on and off (mainly on) for more than 16 years now.  Not much to show for it but besides that, and I don’t seem to quite comprehend that there is no pension with it or security or any of that.  There is also, per my last post, chronic fear of the student evaluation.  I had a student join another class this week because apparently I spoke too fast (of course!) and he was ‘too afraid’ to tell me himself.  “Don’t give her my name!” he insisted to my sub boss.  Then I saw him speaking to the boss boss later.  Uh . . . .  I do not get how I am intimidating.  I am loud, yes, and loud and quick and such but I have never I don’t know like hit anyone before.  I wouldn’t even know how one hits one – how does one hit one?  Do you just like make a fist or is a slap more the thing?  Perhaps on the first day I should say to new students, “I will never hit you.”  Who knows the mind of others.

Meanwhile, other students and I get along so well.  I have a woman in her 40s in my class at the moment and I can tell that she enjoys me and that she gets a vague thrill when I sit beside her and talk to her.  I find that fascinating.  People don’t always see us as we see ourselves or something.  I’ve never thought about that in a positive way in regard to myself.  I think if you get told enough that ‘the way you come across is followed by a less than happy adjective’ you start to internalize it.  Who knows, I am overanalyzing!

As of today I also have a 17 year old Japanese girl in the class – there are quite a few Japanese folks in the class of 13 so that is a whole lot of polite behaviour.

So yeah the age range – from 17 to mid-40’s I’d say, with the bulk in their early 20s.  They all seem to get along.  One young woman had a terrible stomach flu but came to school anyway.  She left halfway through, hopefully gathering her germs as she went poor dear.

I have not been writing at all so I am trying to get back into that a bit – hence this less than exciting blog update.

Oh!  I will have no Sunday tutoring this week due to D. being in Seattle so I may hit up the Vineyard, which is a schlepp but it might be good to see a few folks.  Then the next week I will have Saturday off as S. is going to Toronto to visit her friend.  S. and I have been working our way through The Great Gatsby as she is studying it at school.  Neither of us like any of the characters.  She is going to bring me a list of the ‘top 100 books to read’ or something that the cram school has given her. Uh huh.  She wants to read some Canadian works – I scrambled through my brain and came up with Margaret Laurence.  I think Atwood is a bit much for her age and Munro is too in a different way.  The Stone Angel might be good although I haven’t read it since high school.  When she gets into Shakespeare (not Canadian obviously) I will be completely flummoxed.  S. is delightful in her way – she is doing mega work at the private IB school – she recently had to hand in a 4,000 word personal project.  Then there was something about Achilles and math.

Okay, so, I shall have to schlepp out in the evenings if ever I want to have any social life whatsoever ever. I am isolated and cranky, even though I see students and my temporary job colleagues during the day.  Social isolation actually makes me (more) paranoid.  Go figure.

Okay so yeah in a few weeks I shall be a half century.  My sister, S., hit this milestone three and a half years ago. She wrote an FB note at that time to indicate that she was fine with it and that life was quite good.  While I won’t be writing such a note, I will say that at this point, living seems preferable to the alternative.  While that feeling can  vary, that is generally the case for me.  A good starting point.

Rock on on International Women’s Day y’all.  We still have a long way to go.  Keep up the good fight.