Tag Archives: inertia

Oh good, my phone does work

18 Apr

So the roofers are a -roofing. Apparently the roof in my building needs to be re-tiled, so, for the next week to 10 days, re-tiling.  Because it’s an old mansion divided into suites, the roof is all over the place, including right outside of my bedroom window.  Hammer hammer hammer, air compressor air compressor air compressor noise and I can’t open the window cause if I do, in comes the dirt.  The Spanish (I think Mexican) crew works 8 am – 6 pm, with an hour for lunch in the side yard.  Around 5 pm the contractor comes to yell at them.  Am I repeating myself?  I seem to remember writing this story but maybe not for the blog.

I bought a pie yesterday. I know, I know and finally, I know.  It was cheap!  At the New No Frills at 4th and Fir.  Cheap!  I needed that pie.  Had a disastrous interview for a one evening a week for 12 weeks teaching job.  Yikes.  The interviewer, who I don’t think has ever taught ESL herself, was aggressive like I haven’t experienced.  “Why this, why that, why not” and on and on. I could barely breathe.  My mind kept going blank.  I asked my VCC source about this later (the interview wasn’t at VCC) and explained what happened.  She said, yeah, bad interviewing style.  And it was again, for a temporary 2 hour a week teaching position.  I wrote a rather well written e-mail after the disaster (if I do say so myself) but no response.  Do people really do that?  Not respond to e-mails?  Sheesh.   So needless to say I’m even further down in my nihilism.  I’m bored, I’m lonely, I’m edgy.  Stand back.  I want to swear here but I won’t. I don’t know how to talk my brain out of this spiral.  Eeek.

While I was riding my bicycle today up the wowza 8th Avenue hills, I realized that I hadn’t done that since Friday.  Other than a short bike ride on Monday and to my writers” group on Monday evening and to the disaster on Tuesday afternoon,  I have been spending the bulk of my time sitting on my bed, watching TV on the internet or reading and etc.  Same old, same old. Then I do a huge bike ride and wonder why it was so difficult!  Oooh and the rains they came down. I don’t think I’d mind volunteering but I have to admit that I want someone to just tell me – ‘go there and do this’ and not have to set it all up.  But that’s inertia for you.  Should I move?  I should move.  Where should I move?  I should move. 

I am sick of my own company, that is for sure.

Oh I did see B. today, so that was nice.  He had lent me his older Kobo quite awhile back and I’d downloaded something for it (Adobe Digital Editions, I think) but then got stuck.  So he kindly came over and over the hammering, set it up and showed me how to get e-books from the library!  Awesome!  I was pleased with that.  Thank you, B.

The pie is pretty much finished.  This is why I don’t buy pie.

On ‘Strange Addictions’ right now, a woman can’t stop eating tape and another can’t stop having her breasts enlarged.  In the next one, a woman can’t stop eating nail polish and then someone else.

Ok, people.  Let us form an unemployed group, meet for coffee but not be negative.

And, and per the title of today’s blog entry, someone texted me, thus proving that my phone does indeed work.

Everything happens for a reason, sure.  But does all the nothingness of my days happen for a reason?

Karen, this was a less than cheery blog.  We feel alienated.  We do not read this to read your complaints.  Please get it together.  Sincerely, some of the fan base. p.s. there is nothing wrong with pie.

Oh good, the tape eater has switched to chewing gum.

Oh good lord the breast woman has had a staph infection in the past and almost died.  The doctor is telling the viewers that the breast woman has an unhealthy obsession with her breasts! Uh huh.  Interesting that doctors kept operating on her.   Oh no, she went ahead with more surgery anyway and is now 38 MMM.  My strange addiction is watching the show, ‘Strange Addictions.’  Oh, they are showing her drinking the nail polish.  Oh and the other woman is addicted to digging in her ears.

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Discussion of a celebrity nature.

6 Apr

Since I’m in an inert bored and depressed unemployed coma, I’ve decided to write about celebrities.  First though, my eyes are bugging out of my head due to the hours and hours I spend watching the tv show, ‘The Big C’ on the internet.  That’s done now as I’ve watched all of it.  Still reading a lot though and internet-ing so eyes are bugged out.

Maggie May had to cancel this week due to the poor thing now having the stomach flu herself.  That is some strong and long living virus they have in that there abode.  First the kids, then the nephew and now the Maggie May.  She was feeling better by the time I talked to her but still not great.  “I understand, Maggie May,” I said and reminded her of my brush with the vomiting/diarrhea virus on Dec. 18 of 2011.  “It is not as fun as you’d think,” I told her.  “Oh sure, it sounds all fancy schmancy with the vomiting and the wretching and the pooping and the dehydration resulting in drinking water before you should.  But it’s not that great.’

“At least I lost some weight,” said she.   “You’ll gain it back,”  I said.  She’s sterilizing her home as we speak.  Thank you, Maggie May.

Oh, before the celebrity talk, in exciting news, I am going to attempt to eat oatmeal for the first time in my life. I’ve always been kinda grossed out by the whole thing but it is supposed to be healthy and filling which is not such a big issue now, but if I should ever ever ever get a job, it will be good.  And plus, I’ll be eating less bread.  Etc

“Get steel cut oats,’ said B.

I seem to have Nature’s Path variety packs actually in my cupboard and I have no idea whatsoever how they got there.  I’ll try it out tomorrow.  This is real life as it happens, people.

I NEED A JOB I NEED A JOB I NEED A JOB I NEED A JOB

Okay, celebrities.  Apparently Alec Baldwin is engaged to the 28 year old yoga instructor who helped him to lose weight.  My take on Alec Baldwin is that he is smart and funny and also an emotional abuser.  His anger is always just below the surface and apparently he was extremely emotionally abusive to Kim Basinger and I can see it.  Some of the things he says, his violent message to his daughter, his calling his daughter and threatening suicide unless his 15-year-old daughter agrees to visit him . . . . classic manipulator.  The 28 year old must just worship him but I give it a year until he starts to mess with her mind.    But, you know, good on him for losing weight.

I’ve tried to get into the new tv show, “Missing” but alas, cannot.  I give it four more episodes until it is cancelled.  Too bad because Ashley Judd is a good actress, even though her face looks painfully tight now.  And the European locations of the show are great.  But still, it is missing something.  Ha!  A joke and I didn’t even know it.

As mentioned above, I kinda liked “The Big C.”  It’s on Showtime so I can only watch it online.  I’ve never really warmed to Laura Linney but she is great in this.  And I find the actor who plays her brother kinda hot, even though he is not conventionally hot.  The show focusses and obsesses too much on sex, especially with the 15 year old son.  I don’t know if it’s because Showtime allows swearing and semi-nudity and that maybe creators think a show is hipper and cooler if it’s constantly dealing with sex but it just seems a bit much.  And I’m no sex on TV prude, goodness knows I loved Queer as Folk.  It just seems repetitive here.  But it’s quirky so that’s good.  Cynthia Nixon was on for awhile and it was rather fascinating to see her in a character so different from Miranda on Sex and the City. 

Demi Moore has been awfully quiet lately and I bet she’ll be on the cover of People magazine soon talking about how she has overcome.

I’ve been watching ‘Hot in Cleveland’ on the internet lately and while it is definitely hit and miss, when it is funny, it is funny funny.  LOL and such.

And I got to see Nurse Jackie online!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Kudos to pal Tracy for showing me a new website that streams these shows.

I obsess about my inertness.  Shocking, I realize.  I did ride my bike back up to UBC again today which was a bit soon but was probably a good thing.  Maybe a little swimming on Saturday.

I skipped my weekly non-literal bible study as well as this evening”s Thursday before Easter potluck at the minister’s manse.  I didn’t know what a manse was either till someone told me.  Well, actually it is the minister’s minister husband’s manse. A manse, by the way, is what the United Church provides to their ministers – either a house or housing money.  Other denominations did this apparently too but don’t now, I think.  But I’m not sure.  It’s a nice perk, for sure, especially if your church is in Shaughnessy!  Well, good on them. It’s not like ministers make a whole lot of money.  That said, I would love a) a job and b) a job with a manse!  Or like a condo.  Or a studio apartment.  I probably shouldn’t be skipping these things, these potlucks and such but there you go.  Inertia.  Fear not, once I actually get a job I’ll return to a better place, less blobby.  I can’t scare away the fan base!

Had coffee with B. again today and that was nice.  We people watched for awhile which I do enjoy.

And finally, now that Regis is no longer there, I don’t think ‘Live with Kelly’ is going to survive.  They are re-doing the studio apparently but still . . . you don’t know how much you need Regis until he isn’t there anymore.

C’est ca.

 

 

Hello.

3 Apr

How are you?  How are things?  What’s new?  Are you stil having phantom pain from where your newly amputated foot used to be?

Phew. I’m keeping my ‘hello’ gambits from getting rusty.

Hmmm, I want to keep my wee blog active but I’m not feeling that creative at the moment so I don’t have much to say!  Hmmm.  I’m, as always, struggling with the lack of routine and the general inertia that is resulting.  In an attempt to counteract said inertia, I did go for a long bike ride yesterday which was nice (and challenging).  There was a bit o sun yesterday but today and for the rest of the week it is to be cloudy and raining.  This, I have to say I have to say, does not so much help my inertia.

After the bike ride, I came home and felt inert again but convinced myself to go to my writers’ group.  It is ALWAYS a good thing for me to be out amongst people instead of holed up in my little abode.  I’m kinda freaking out (me?) thinking that I will never actually get a job again.  I’m applying and am on some sub lists etc. but still the days are long long and long.  And they are long.  Should I move?  Should I change cities?  I don’t know.  I do know I have way too much time to think.

The corporation is still open, oddly enough and apparently picking up more students for the summer.  It’s been a hellish ride there the last 6 months I’ve heard, with firings and all sorts.  Folks are beaten down.  And yet, they are still employed so good on them.  And if my blog can make just one of them feel better about still being employed there, then I will have done my duty, ha.  I think I blew my chances of going back there to sub (EEEK!) when I wrote at one point to the boss, “I honestly don’t know how you in good conscience can continue to work at the corporation.”  This was during the whole T4 fiasco (which still may be unresolved).  And really, cheques are still bouncing and other, uh, interesting things are still happening so I know I must be way down to even be thinking about them.  I’m not though, not in any serious way.  I think I still pine for the salad days there when the money was flowing, there were crossword puzzles at lunch and etc.  But I remind myself again and again that it is no longer like that, that many many good people have now gotten fired so that the new owners can save money and screw up T4s and that for the last 3 or 4 years I was bored out of my mind on the job.  These are things I’ve written againn and again so sorry to bore you, wee fan base!  Really, I’m just trying to give myself a bit of a pep talk more than anything.

“Take  up a new sport,’ texted an acquaintance.  “Volunteer.”  Yes, yes, true true.  The thing is, I actually need a job, a little income.  Hmmm, a lot of income.  And regularly please and thank you.  Uh yes, back in September! when I got laid off I was filled with hopes of getting a writing job, of changing careers and the like.

Kerplunk.

Gak. (R. used that in his story last night so I’m cribbing it.  I do like that word, ‘gak’.)  GAK.

I’m realizing that for now, I’m needing to stay in the boundaries of ESL-ness.  Although I did apply for a great short term writing contract job last week but . . . cyberspace black hole.

So I’m sending out the old resume to some places and seeing what pops up, while still looking into other kinds of work.  I’m exercising regularly darn it and that kind of thing and I’m trying to do all of this through the inertness of it all. 

Mind you, I don’t want to write a depressing blog about my depression.  That’s depressing.  I’ve read blogs like that and wowza they are painful to get through.

I need to get back to thinking about the Masters in TESOL and such like that. 

The thing is, while I’m inert, I am also anxious about it all.  Some folks just get the feeling like a lump part without the anxious part.  That seems a bit easier to me. Although really it is the anxious energy that keeps me from must lazing about all day.

I am going to actually go to the mindfulness meditation later this morning instead of just thinking of going and then making an excuse not to go. And then I have a doctor’s appointment in North Vancouver in the afternoon so excitement all around really.  Ha.

Tomorrow I’m going to see E.  We reconnected on FB after years of not seeing each other but when we were on the phone yesterday it was like no time had passed at all.  Nice.  And Thursday I’m going to see Maggie May and her wee ones!  That sounds like a band but it is not. 

Sigh.

What else?  Oh!   the Mormons, it seems, have their very own Youtube channel!  I may have mentioned how I am obsessed with (but  never want to be obviously) Mormons and their Mormonism! but in an ironic way.  What a treat!  They’ve just had their national convention or whatever it is called and some of the (all male, all middle-aged, all tie-wearing) speakers are on youtube!  SO BORING!  I couldn’t get through even one speech.  I can only imagine that some Mormon heads in the audience were nodding off.  It was like, ‘blah blah, ‘monotone, ‘blah blah blah, I am one of the 12 chosen to be the new apostles blah blah blah.’  Now the blog, Modern Mormon men, that is way better.  Mormon men (and women, oddly) write about contemporary things as they try to be contemporary I guess.  La la la, so intriguing!

the Mormon missionaries never come to my apartment building, which is too bad.  Years and years ago they knocked on the door of a house in North Van. I was living in at the time.  I was the only one home (probably another unemployed stint) and I remember I was wearing shorts and drinking a Slurpee.  Must have been summer.  I invited them in then proceeded to ask about spirit babies and the ‘mark of Cain’ on African Americans and how they weren’t allowed into the priesthood until 1978.  My mistake is that I questioned the more experienced of the two young men, instead of the trainee.  Twas fun really.  Oh, yes, that house in North Van.  It was a quasi Christian community and rent was cheap.  But really, it was the owner’s home and she invited whoever she wanted to live there, even for awhile that sex offender guy who was like a son to her.  Her boundaries were all askew but she was sweet and had a lovely house an garden.  Oh to have cheap rent again!

I just need like a benefactor who will pay me $2000 to just be me and to write my blog.  That would cover my basic costs and then I could take up a new sport and volunteer!

And remember folks, the contest is still on!  Fifteen comments on one blog entry – I draw (at random!) a winner from the commenters and that person gets many New Yorkers!  My writers’ group people didn’t seem to think this was such a great prize but I do!  The New Yorker, people! 

Anyway, thank you for reading my less than happy happy blog entry.  And let”s not forget – UBC needs me for three weeks in August so if I can just wait 4 months and then live off of 3 weeks of work for the next 49 weeks, I should be fine.  Hey!  I love UBC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!